A reader recently wrote to advice columnist Miss Manners seeking guidance about gift-giving within their family. The reader explained that they had been giving thoughtful and sometimes costly birthday and holiday presents to a close relative of the same age. However, after many years of not receiving gifts or even cards in return, the reader stopped sending gifts, though they continued to send cards.
Now, the relative has complained that they do not hear from the reader, which the reader believes is a reaction to the cessation of gifts. The reader expressed a desire to remain kind and asked whether they should resume giving gifts.
Miss Manners responded that while the relative’s complaint might be a subtle hint about the missing gifts, it is too subtle to clearly communicate the issue. She advised that this is not a sufficient reason to restart giving gifts to someone who neither reciprocates nor acknowledges them.
The columnist’s advice highlights the importance of mutual appreciation in gift-giving relationships and suggests that gifts should not be given without some sign of gratitude or acknowledgment.
